4-Year Anniversary: My Shamanic Calling

4 years ago today I got called to be a shaman. It was also when I discovered there were indigenous shamans in my ancestral lineage. Who knew? It’s not something I’ve spoken about much because of how sacred they are to me. I feel very protective of them because of what they’ve endured and sacrificed in order to see their future generations thrive in their new realities. So much of what they’ve shown me sits in pages and pages of my journal, waiting for the right moment and words to do them justice.

I still struggle with why I ended up on this path after disconnecting from the spirit world at age 14. I was 38 years old, having been immersed in all things society expected me to partake in to consider myself “successful” and “worthy”, yet spiraling with inconsolable grief and so much suffering.

I told Spirit and my ancestors they had the wrong person. I’m not a shaman- look at me! I’ve been told over and over to just be myself, not what society perceived shamans should “look like” or “be like”.   And that eventually, my role would shift.

And they showed me the healed version of me and the peace that would follow. They made good on that promise and I’m truly grateful.

But I can’t help but wonder today if I’m letting them down. Letting Spirit/God down. It’s always when you think you have it figured out that you realize you have so much more to grow, to learn, and to honor. 

How to truly honor Mother Nature and all of her creations while trying to survive in these man made realities designed to create so much suffering and separation. You learn so much when observing nature. We were designed to coexist in harmony. Yet here we are destroying the planet none of us are capable of existing without.

I’m left feeling this burning desire to just tear it all down and start fresh the way it should’ve always been before human greed took over this planet. While simultaneously feeling painfully aware of the practical realities.

Today I’m praying to God to show us the way. To give us clarity.

We need truly game-changing visions, activations, movers & shakers to fully step into their power. Continuing to fully trust the process. And so it is.

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